It's Cousin Kerry's Fault I Have a Bowling Ball Head!

I am a grey headed old Bear now, with four adult children and seven wonderful grandchildren. Far too often now in my Fifties, I've had to explain to my grandkids why Papa has a "bowling ball" head! It's my cousin and best friend Kerry's fault (the pic above is one he sent me when we were both on our missions - he was in Austria and it was taken on 5 January 1973). Who could think that the calm, docile young man in the photo above could in reality be such a fiend with a rake! Yes - a potential hole-in-the-head best friend. In order to not disgrace him, I have refrained from the retelling of this story - but my oldest has bugged me for the details - so here goes.

I was honored to stay during the summers with my grandparents, Ken and Edith or with my Aunt and Uncle, Lorraine & Mark. Those were always times of great fun. We played in the high mountain desert country close to Dugway Proving Grounds in a community founded by these Kinsmen and others as "Terra". We enjoyed playing army, cowboys and Indians, or just running around chasing snakes, lizards, and rabbits in the desert sand and sagebrush. My closest buddies were my cousins, Christine (awww, the Beautiful Christine) and Kerry. They were always fun as they constantly were bugging the adults and their siblings - especially Elaine (I've probably misspelled her name). I remember Kerry waking me up from a nap one day at Grandmas' by rubbing the bloody end of a gardner (or is it gartner) snake against my face (he was a devil, that Kerry - full of mischief and life - in later life, he and I would specialize in robbery of his parents HIFI console and take it to my house - parents were out-of-town, and listen to the Doors LA Woman at FULL VOLUME!). I digress - the Beautiful Christine and Kerry and I were playing one day and Kerry as usual was making some dry but warped remarks about my looks (beauty may be only skin deep - but ugly goes clear to the bone) and I recited the old standby, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me!" Christine and I combined against Kerry then in a discussion about some horse that was corralled in the neighborhood (if you can call a desert community that). At any rate, Kerry left Christine and I - MAD!

Christine and I were walking along - minding our own business and Kerry come running after us with a RAKE! Yes, a big (to a kid) wooden handled, metal tonged rake. We really didn't think he was serious about using it on us (he is such a dry, subtle wit that you have to really be connected on his beam to appreciate his profound humor), so we just laughed at him. He had this odd, funny twisted grimace on his face and elevated the rake and stoutly approached me. As he uttered an, "Argghh!", he slammed the rake held above his head DOWN onto my head! We didn't think much of it at the time - I just bled for 8 days. But in an older age now, I find that their are three distinct holes on the top of my head from those rake tongs. My grandkids grossly mock me to this day... so if you ever feel I have too big a head - please call cousin Kerry and thank him for the swelling - CERTIFIED TRUE STORY! Call Christine and verify - if she has any memory left (Ha, ha, ha - just joking).

WOW! Facebook & Family Connections Galore!

February 18, 2009 will be remembered as a Red Letter Day. I was reviewing an article from the Ladders entitled, "Can You Facebook Your Way to a New Job?" I have just gotten active on LinkedIn (great professional / social networking tool) and they were giving tips about LinkedIn and Facebook. I had never even visited the Facebook site, so I though what the hey - let's go. After an initial sign up at midday and then an orgy of connecting with family thru the late night - I've never been so surprised at a social and family networking tool. I connected with numberous family and friends - some whom I had not seen or spoken with for over 30 years (I'm Jack Benny's age, 39 - hahaha). I 'm now working on the Family Tree aspects and invite all of you to send me info and pics related to any family tree info.

Little Gaylynn, my cousin, was my first "friend" on Facebook and we even IM'd each other for a while. I hope that all of you find peace and happiness in all you pursue and as much fun as I did last night "talking" with so many family members. It was funny - it was like a bunch of us just got started last night and there was a frenzy of activity. Best to all - keep connected. Stay employed - that will be a challenge for far too many of us this next few months / years!

This was TOO Funny! Watch it and LAUGH!

Evolution of Dance - Part 2 @ Yahoo! Video

Please Golf Responsibly!

I love to golf. Do you? It is a deep, cold winter here in Northern Indiana. We have had 59 days of snow on the ground and temps below 20 degrees Fahrenheit for the same two months. It just warmed up this past week to almost 60 and we felt like we had died and gone to heaven.

It made me feel even more the need to get out and hit that little white ball. I am almost tired of playing Wii Golf. My best game there on their 9 holes is -5 - but I want to work on my real game.

Okay - now my morality question from Golf! Have you ever hit a ball and hit a vehicle driving by the course. I have... it happened in Pittsburgh on a golf outing sponsored by our company's bank - Mellon Bank. I was assigned to a foursome - I gratefully didn't know the other players. We were playing at Fox Chapel Country Club and from the tee, I hit a strong hook off to the left, over some other golfers and through the trees that bordered the beautiful course and into the street running along it. I yelled, "Fore!" - but my heart sank when we heard something hit metal and a vehicle squeal to a stop. The trees blocked our view and there were other golfers to our left who also where having trouble keeping their balls in the fairway (do you hear my excuse coming?).

As we were playing behind the foursome to our left, we soon saw a woman come out of the trees several hundred yards to our left yelling, "Who hit my SUV with a golf ball?" She was quite upset and was yelling for some time. Everyone in our foursome looked at me and I hung my head in shameful guilt - but I said - nothing! This was one of the most cowardly acts I've committed - but we didn't know for sure it was my ball and she did not have the ball in hand which hit her car - so I kept silent and played thru. Two members of our foursome were attorneys, and for the remainder of our play I had to listen to them go on about how admitting to the deed with no positive proof of whose ball it was, etc. would be legally inappropriate. I'm not sure which was worse, my guilt of non-confession or having to listen to those two make excuses for me. So what is the worst public thing you have ever done? I dare you to share... ha, ha, ha!

Happy Valentine's Day - Honey Bear!

Love & Animals Valentines e-Card! Enjoy!

Mr. Obama in Elkhart, IN - that's where I live..

The President was about 4 miles away from my home today! He was in Elkhart, Indiana talking about his economic stimulus bill. The reason he was here again (he was here several times in our area and elsewhere in the state during his campaign) is because my county literally has the highest unemployment figure in the entire country - 15.3%!! Holy cow Batman.

70% of all Recreational Vehicles are made in a 5 county area around us and we have been hit very hard with companies going out of business and massive layoffs. The whole RV business, both motorized and towables is off between 75 - 80%. Yes, they are only running production at levels that are 20-25% of last year. There are so many people that have been unemployed (for months now) that they cannot even process the claims from over 3 months ago. The Indiana govenor has promised (as yet unfulfilled) to send hundreds of gov types from elsewhere in the state to assist with processing of these claims.

So - okay, I didn't vote for the man - I'm not happy with most of his strategies and so on; but he is the President and I was pleased to see the first trip he's made since his inaguration was to the hardest hit area of the country for economic downturn! He is a great speaker and did speak the truth to the folks here today. He still emphasized the need for personal responsibility and helping ourselves with positive education and preparedness. I just spoke with a couple who are good friends - the wife is an educator in a public high school and she was agast to hear most of her African-American students express outrage against the President saying he was, "NOT black enough!" She further observed that most of the ethnic minority students literally felt that they had been lied to - as they truely expected more immediate CASH in hand from the government after this recent election. That is a sad commentary!

God Bless America and yes, God Bless the President. Oh, and just to have a little fun, here are favorite pix of him (ha, ha, ha!):

Vinegar Joe's Partner - Sour Sam!

Okay! The response was so overwhelming on Vinegar Joe's wandering request that we make Spanish the official language of the United States - that Sour Sam here got all offended that he hadn't been asked to contribute as well. He called me last night and wanted to know about "time-out's". I asked him what he wanted to know, and he quickly corrected me - he didn't want my explanation, he wanted a forum to express his concern for the discipline of America's youth. So I invited him to "talk" to us all here. So as Brother John would say, "You know, here is Sam. He will speak you know about a topic that is, you know, serious - YOU KNOW!" (It should be noted here that Brother John is upset at the rest of his siblings with kids - he neither spanks or gives time-outs to his kids - he gives them the Mad Bear arched eyebrow "look". He thinks that Brother Dennis spanked his kids so much that it has socially inhibited them in their current old age. And he thinks that Brother Russ was a wuss and just used "time-out's". Brother Morg doesn't count cause he had just spoiled his one and only). So here is Sour Sam:

Hi, my name is Sam. I am a Sephardic Jew. I am a liberal and happy to be living now in Florida. I frankly think that the lack of discipline with America's youth is abismal. Spare the rod and spoil the child, some have always said. My parents both worked hard and just ignored me. I had to fend for myself - and look, I turned out just fine. I never received any discipline as a child, in NYC's Hell's Kitchen, except from the school of Hard Knocks. I loved my parents and I knew they loved me. I had two kids and never raised my voice, or hand, or eyebrow to either one of them. They are quite fine adults now and live peacefully in upstate New York, in a "block" in the Attica area...

I hope I can prevail upon all of America's parents - don't give your children any discipline. Just love them and let them grow up as they wish. Stop listening to this Audra fanatic in Glendale, AZ who keeps quoting some "Trimming the Tree / And The Children story" that her sick father taught her. We are just too paranoid today - nothing bad can happen to our kids. I mean think about it, with more discipline you will just creat little automatons who can't think for themselves. We don't want that. After all, they might move to Miami and vote consistently liberal - which does nothing to support Isreal (its the conservatives who give the most consistent support to us Zionists). Oh, I guess I just contradicted myself. I'm sorry! Don't spank, glare at, or give "time-out's" to your kids. Leave them to grow as they want.

Your new anti-Dr. Phil-like advisor - Sour Sephardic Sam

Introducing My Buddy - Vinegar Joe!

Vinegar Joe is one of my advisors and best friends. He has done my taxes and all my legal advisory work for over 20 years. He has never lied to me. He is always right (sometimes FAR RIGHT)! The years have grizzled him a bit, but he is still the original and true, VINEGAR JOE. I trust him, so should you...

So, Joe found out about my writing this blog for family & friends and he insisted that he be allowed to reach out to my loved ones and best friends and offer his bold wisdom and faithful Republican spirit. So I will be inviting VJ to "speak" to (at) us frequently each month. I hope you benefit from his discernment's and experience as I have. Please write comments to him, so that he can determine to whom he should ship midnight skunks.

Joe likes to ramble, so to keep him focused we will offer specific topics. This should keep him on target and prevent his waxing poetic about his lost love, Maxine (I'm sure you've seen her cartoon representation in those funny cards). Maxine is a real person, you know (you know, my brother John says, "you know" about 4 times average per paragraph, you know. It must be a Mormon thing, or an ex thing, oh forget it). VJ's topic for this post is: Should all American citizens be required to speak Spanish? Here is Vinegar Joe:

Hi! My name is Vinegar Joe. Don't let my looks fool you. I am quite a lover. Why until my old girl threw me over for Valentino (you know - he Spanish, not Italian), I was quite the cat's meow. But I got drunk that night and ran into a Spanish speaking gang. I didn't know what they were saying, so I tried to communicate using Indian sign language and I must have said the wrong thing because they knocked all my teeth out. So, YES - I think we should all learn to speak Spanish just to avoid the foul experience I endured. In fact, we should make Spanish the official language of the United States. After all, as you all know - there is NO officially designated "language" here. In fact, I don't enjoy punching "1" now to communicate in English with companies on the phone. It would be easier if we all just spoke what 45% of America speaks right now - Spanish. Besides without my teeth, I sound like Elder Newey and whisp out all my English words! So I might as well just whisp out my Spanish words as well. I've met Greybear's brother, John, who served a mission in Argentina and speaks fluent Spanish. Heck, I can swear in Spanish much better than he can. So tell me in your comments, which is it - English or Spanish? See you later - I know you hope not...

Vinegar Joe

Morgan J. - Here is to YOUR Birthday

Okay, let's really embarass MJB. By the way he really doesn't have a middle name - just a middle initial - and he was named after MJB coffee (not really - and you youngsters won't remember that brand of coffee). Morg is going to be 54 on Sunday 2/8/09. He is going thru a divorce (we wish him well.....) and he is doing great as a Technical / Mantainence guy for an equipment manufacturer. He has traveled all over the world installing and servicing this stuff and is quite the raconteur now. WE love him. He was such a cute little boy with all that curly hair, now he is bald like me. Of course our two younger brother still think they have hair (Russ keeps dyeing his orange - he is a surfer dude at the University of Indiana, and John just knows he has hair up there - some where - he just can't find it).

I will always love my brother, Morgan. He and I made a pact years ago as youngsters, that we wouldn't run away without talking to the other. Several times we waited out back for the other one to come home and talk the other out of leaving. We fought some pretty vicious fights as little brothers - but Grandma Beardall scared that out of us one day when we got into it at one of her sister's home. She went out and got two tree limbs and told us to really punish the other. We got so scared we dropped the mini tree trunks and ran to hide from Grandma Edith (someday I'll tell you the story of how my best friend / cousin Kerry tried to kill me with a rake to the head, the beautiful Christine will remember that occurrence). Well, Happy Birthday Morgan!

The photos above show him two years ago at Nancee's Bday dinner in KC. The middle shot shows Aunt Lorraine, Mom Colleen, and Morgan holding her head in a weird kind of disembodied shot at our home in SLC in May 1971. And the bottom pic is one of Dennis, Nancee, and Morgan at 8, 4, and 6 years respectively.

Happy Birthday Morgan - February 8th!