I am a grey headed old Bear now, with four adult children and seven wonderful grandchildren. Far too often now in my Fifties, I've had to explain to my grandkids why Papa has a "bowling ball" head! It's my cousin and best friend Kerry's fault (the pic above is one he sent me when we were both on our missions - he was in Austria and it was taken on 5 January 1973). Who could think that the calm, docile young man in the photo above could in reality be such a fiend with a rake! Yes - a potential hole-in-the-head best friend. In order to not disgrace him, I have refrained from the retelling of this story - but my oldest has bugged me for the details - so here goes.
I was honored to stay during the summers with my grandparents, Ken and Edith or with my Aunt and Uncle, Lorraine & Mark. Those were always times of great fun. We played in the high mountain desert country close to Dugway Proving Grounds in a community founded by these Kinsmen and others as "Terra". We enjoyed playing army, cowboys and Indians, or just running around chasing snakes, lizards, and rabbits in the desert sand and sagebrush. My closest buddies were my cousins, Christine (awww, the Beautiful Christine) and Kerry. They were always fun as they constantly were bugging the adults and their siblings - especially Elaine (I've probably misspelled her name). I remember Kerry waking me up from a nap one day at Grandmas' by rubbing the bloody end of a gardner (or is it gartner) snake against my face (he was a devil, that Kerry - full of mischief and life - in later life, he and I would specialize in robbery of his parents HIFI console and take it to my house - parents were out-of-town, and listen to the Doors LA Woman at FULL VOLUME!). I digress - the Beautiful Christine and Kerry and I were playing one day and Kerry as usual was making some dry but warped remarks about my looks (beauty may be only skin deep - but ugly goes clear to the bone) and I recited the old standby, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me!" Christine and I combined against Kerry then in a discussion about some horse that was corralled in the neighborhood (if you can call a desert community that). At any rate, Kerry left Christine and I - MAD!
Christine and I were walking along - minding our own business and Kerry come running after us with a RAKE! Yes, a big (to a kid) wooden handled, metal tonged rake. We really didn't think he was serious about using it on us (he is such a dry, subtle wit that you have to really be connected on his beam to appreciate his profound humor), so we just laughed at him. He had this odd, funny twisted grimace on his face and elevated the rake and stoutly approached me. As he uttered an, "Argghh!", he slammed the rake held above his head DOWN onto my head! We didn't think much of it at the time - I just bled for 8 days. But in an older age now, I find that their are three distinct holes on the top of my head from those rake tongs. My grandkids grossly mock me to this day... so if you ever feel I have too big a head - please call cousin Kerry and thank him for the swelling - CERTIFIED TRUE STORY! Call Christine and verify - if she has any memory left (Ha, ha, ha - just joking).
11 comments:
Now I understand my up bringing. Brain damage, not swollen bowling ball head. Thanks Kerry.
I just messin' with ya Dad. It is a great story! So did you have the hots for your cuz? Sounds like it.
Christine was always the beautiful girl next door type. Good girl who liked bad boys, smart, cool, sweet but sassy at times - but always very good to me. Yeah - I had a crush on her. Oh, gosh she will read this! Ha, haha.
Alright you caught me (Kerry is my oldest brother), back through the 50's and 60's contraception was a 4 letter word. Then again we would have had one strange family had my parents stopped at 2.
If you know Kerry now you would have never believed that he hit anyone but Dennis. He still likes the Doors but may not admit all of his hell raising. I have heard a few stories.
I want to hear Kerry's side of the story, I have a feeling there has to be more lead up to this incident.
Audra, I also remember a certain oven explosion at the Beau Brummel restaurant that may have caused further brain damage to your father! Has he told you that story?
Sean - I could tell you some stories of how Kerry and I were pals in SLC - my senior year @ Skyline and his freshman year at UofU. I'm not so sure either of us was any where close to a bad a_ _ - but we did kick up our heels a bit. It was fun riding with him to play at Billards Palace after work. Driving around three of my girlfriends at the same time in your Dad's Mustang, driving his Triumph 650 thru the chain link fence, and on and on. We didn't think we were tough - we were just having a great time chasing women, riding motorcycles and living life. He was a hoot and my best buddy. Life took us our own way, but it has been fun to reconnect.
Dennis is Uncle Keith's son. Straight Up! The entire family is a rogue Beardall off-shoot, my mother even believe's her oldest brother is a saintly saint.
Fate tries hard to keep all of us separated, it's not time for the world to end just yet...
Amen - Fellow Brother of the Boondock Saints (ever see that movie?)!!!
I, of course, remember the incident slightly differently. As I recall, I was leading a discussion on gardening and the need to put your back into the effort when Dennis, feeling some misplaced compassion for the weed that I was demonstrating on, threw himself in harm's way (he's really quite a tender guy once you get to know him) with the expected, but tragic consequences. As a follow-up to that story, several years later he went to all the trouble of having several feet surrounding that weed designated as a wilderness protection area.
OK, so even if it went down just like Dennis said (and yes, he was still taking naps at 14), I'm claiming temporary insanity by reason of prolonged, close association with someone with an admitted fascination with golf.
Oh, god - the sleeper has awaken (quote from Dune). At last, I see that my dapper, suave, yet sanguine friend is BACK. I was so afraid he had lost his biting sense of humor and beautiful sarcastic wit!! Welcome home Kerry! You gotta luv it....
Hey...I wasn't (entirely) asleep...
Often I just don't get a chance to check my email on Saturdays and generally only have a half hour or so on Sundays. Loved your story though...still hoping for your forgiveness for that one :)
Who needs forgiveness! What the hay will we memorialize in our rocking chair days? Thank the Lord we had some rough and tumble times as kids. Mentally and physically it was great preparation for the competition and joys of life. It was also one of my first lessons that friends (particularly guys - women are a lot less forgiving of one another, ask them - they will admit it) can mix it up and still be friends or actually closer because of it!
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