So, Joe found out about my writing this blog for family & friends and he insisted that he be allowed to reach out to my loved ones and best friends and offer his bold wisdom and faithful Republican spirit. So I will be inviting VJ to "speak" to (at) us frequently each month. I hope you benefit from his discernment's and experience as I have. Please write comments to him, so that he can determine to whom he should ship midnight skunks.
Joe likes to ramble, so to keep him focused we will offer specific topics. This should keep him on target and prevent his waxing poetic about his lost love, Maxine (I'm sure you've seen her cartoon representation in those funny cards). Maxine is a real person, you know (you know, my brother John says, "you know" about 4 times average per paragraph, you know. It must be a Mormon thing, or an ex thing, oh forget it). VJ's topic for this post is: Should all American citizens be required to speak Spanish? Here is Vinegar Joe:
Hi! My name is Vinegar Joe. Don't let my looks fool you. I am quite a lover. Why until my old girl threw me over for Valentino (you know - he Spanish, not Italian), I was quite the cat's meow. But I got drunk that night and ran into a Spanish speaking gang. I didn't know what they were saying, so I tried to communicate using Indian sign language and I must have said the wrong thing because they knocked all my teeth out. So, YES - I think we should all learn to speak Spanish just to avoid the foul experience I endured. In fact, we should make Spanish the official language of the United States. After all, as you all know - there is NO officially designated "language" here. In fact, I don't enjoy punching "1" now to communicate in English with companies on the phone. It would be easier if we all just spoke what 45% of America speaks right now - Spanish. Besides without my teeth, I sound like Elder Newey and whisp out all my English words! So I might as well just whisp out my Spanish words as well. I've met Greybear's brother, John, who served a mission in Argentina and speaks fluent Spanish. Heck, I can swear in Spanish much better than he can. So tell me in your comments, which is it - English or Spanish? See you later - I know you hope not...
Vinegar Joe
2 comments:
IF VJ really was Republican he would have chosen English and chose to line up the Spanish speaking people and throw them back over "the fence". Just FYI. I thought you knew your GOP better than that. I personally live in AZ which is full of SPanish speakers (although they are everywhere) and I think it is fine. I like Spanish speakers, but I don't want to have the DMV in English and Spanish, like it is. I don't want to have my jury summons come in English and Spanish, like it does. I live in America and WE SPEAK ENGLISH!
Spanish speakers - come to the US. Do the labor and work, lazy white people won't do. Welcome. I even think you should get paid the same as legal citizen(must will disagree but I think you do the work, you earn the pay). Really. Honest. Just bring your kid who speaks English when you go to the bank, Dr., DMV, etc.
Too bold. Sorry.
As for Spanish gangs, every gang need a "code". Use Spanish. Fine. Just watch out for the Spanish speaker cop to come bust your butt in jail.
Hooray! A real American (and a patriotic conservative one at that) speaks. Yes, throw the bastards back over the fence / river. No habla espaniol.
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